End game
by Mishka Fogolin
Summary: My version of Elena's transition


**A/N**

**Okay I know there is like 100 others already posted, but this is my fantasy for Delena for the first episode in season 4…. **

**I'll catch up with my Princess Gina stories now – I think TVD/Delena was swimming around in my head so much that I couldn't get my attention back to my beloved Gina….**

**Half a chapter of "Haunted" is ready, and now that I got this out of the way, maybe I'll be able to continue** **it…**

**END A/N**

"You what?" Damon scowls, shocked, confused, angry…

Since Elena called , then Ric just fading away in his arms an hour ago, the drive to Mystic Falls, the ordeal of entering the hospital at human speed, he has experience every negative emotion possible.

Earth-shattering disappointment, jealousy, anger, resentment, and finally a dull acceptance that his destiny has, and always will be, of the second choice, the loser, the unloved. That was followed by a half-hearted fight for survival, his instincts too strong to allow his death to be swift while his heart is telling him to go, then the utter shock and anguish as Ric… died… again. This time for good. The implication of his death, produced at first a dull feeling of denial, then the regret as he chastises himself for leaving her on her own for a couple of hours, then more anger…. And then the instinct to run… for the first time in his life, not away, but to someone.

"I helped her… in the only way I could…" Meredith's eyes are telling him what she cannot say out loud.

Now as Meredith's words sink in, he is feeling every single one of those emotions, simultaneously, wondering if he heard correct, hoping that the connection his mind made to her words is true, and his heart screaming that this hurt is unbearable.

"Who's blood?" As Meredith opens and closes her mouth again, he sees the answer in her eyes… yet asks again. He must know. Even if Elena will hate him forever and ever, she'll be around to hate him.

In a dark and silent room, at the back, lower end of the hospital, sits a man with no heart beat, staring at the beautiful girl lying on the cold metal table in the morgue. He is fighting the urge to just run, run away, before looking into her eyes, seeing what he had done to her. By giving her the choices he felt was her right, he took away the most important choice she had.

His vampire eye twitches, as he notices a movement in her right hand, so minute, no human eyes would see it.

"This is it…" he thinks. Just a couple more minutes, and he will have to face what he had done.

Constricted. Trapped. Is she? No, this can't be what death feels like. Anna and Lexie and Mason, they all looked quite… comfortable and free, being dead. She is definitely still inside her body. She feels relieved on the one hand, and panic on the other. Panic because she cannot move, she can sense the smell of surgical spirits, she have a sense of a coldness beneath her back, she is starting to sense a little more of the surrounding air around her, but she can't move, she can't speak, she can't…. Is this what a coma is like? Is that why the doctors say, you should talk to someone in a coma, they know you are there? Slowly, her senses start including a faint breathing noise. Someone is here, in this room, breathing. But it's getting so distinct that it feels as if it is right next to her ears, yet she does not feel air moving anywhere close by…. Then slowly more sounds emerge, trolleys dragging on a floor, beeping, a murmur of voices. She's in the hospital. Is she still in the ER, waiting to be tended to? She has been in hospital many times since her parents died, but it has never been this busy and loud. Somewhere between the murmurs, she hears a familiar voice saying Damon's name. It's Meredith, she strains to find their conversation in the midst of all the other voices and sounds, then suddenly she finds it, dulling the rest of the sounds to a quiet hum. Damon's voice.

"You what?"

"I helped her… in the only way I could…"

It's silent for a minute. If she could breathe, she would be holding her breath, waiting for Damon's response. Are they talking about her? Wait, she's not breathing. Momentarily her attention is drawn from Damon as she tries to will herself to suck in some air somehow. No movement, no air….

Damon's voice again, urgent, filled with pain.

"Who's blood?" a second of silence, in her mind's eye she can see those brilliant blue eyes of his flashing… "Who's blood did you give her last night?"

And then a whoosh sound, as Meredith exhales loudly.

"Yours."

Last night? Last night when Jeremy brought her in? But then, she did… she did drown. This isn't a miraculous survival, in-a-coma scenario. Not again. No this time it's for real. She's dead. This can't be. This can't be happening. She needs to breathe, she has to, otherwise she will be dead for the rest of her eternal life. Eternity. The word alone sounds daunting. She tries to force her lungs to work, to do something, to expand, to pull in air. Is the water still in there? With much concentration, she starts feeling her lungs, she can feel there, where it is. All her concentration is now centered on that piece of flesh, willing it with her mind to inflate.

"Where is she?" Damon's demanding voice. She is still tuned to their conversation. "I have to see her. She's going to need me."

For a second, her attention completely drops from its self imposed tasks of forcing her body to function. For a moment, it doesn't matter. She just remembered something. A phone call… to Damon… before the crash. She broke his heart, and yet he is here. She broke his heart, because she feared the unknown. How pathetic is that? She hates herself. She never thought it possible to hate with so much passion, and this emotion is directed at herself. She broke his heart, because she was too chicken to face his consuming love for her, too chicken to face her own consuming love for him. The hatred boils just under the surface, as an ever deeper despair and regret engulfs her. She broke her own heart, because she was too scared. Suddenly she does feel as if she's suffocating, physically. She needs to breathe. She needs to wake up. She needs to see him, talk to him, and make everything right before it's too late. Perhaps it is already too late. Panic sets in as her lungs are still refusing to co-operate. She must've missed Meredith's answer to him in the face of the realization that had hit her with the force of a ten ton truck, because she hears his footsteps coming closer, some hospital employee arguing with him at the door…. She has to speak to him, now, immediately, if she can only breathe. Suddenly it feels like a string snaps inside her chest, and the next attempt at breathing produces a huge gulp dragged down into her lungs, she gasps, finding that in the effort she had sit bolt upright. She tries to cough away the tickles of the air surrounding the water droplets still in there. She has to stop coughing, she has to speak to Damon. She can't talk and cough at the same time. She stops inhaling, and find that it is an unnecessary action. She doesn't need to breath. A detached part of her mind tells her that she has a decision to make, death or transition, the overriding part of her brain just screams: "Damon!" He has to know. She chose him. No regrets, no take-backs, no Stefan.

The last mentioned is at her side in seconds. His eyes filled with guilt and regret and pain.

"Elena… I'm so sorry… I shou…"

"Damon. I need to see him…" she gasps. They can sort out all these complications, and feelings, and decisions and emotions later. She's bound to go off the deep end soon, as soon as the rest of her emotions catch up to its new heightened state…. First she has to set things right. Fix what she broke. And hopefully Damon will allow her to fix her own heart as well. She fights Stefan's arms. His gentle hovering, like she's some kind of Chinese doll is becoming irritating, so much so, that she starts feeling as if she is suffocation. She pushes his arms away, only to be pulled back by him again….

Vervain. Damon swears under his breath. He can't compel his way into the morgue.

"Let me go." Elena's voice, anxious. "I have to see Damon. Now."

"You can't go out there…" Stefan's voice, pleading.

Oh well, Damon thinks, as he eyes the hospital employee. He has always been the bad guy. In a split second, he hits the guy's head against the wall, then drags him along with one hand, while he opens the door, and drops the body inside.

"I need to speak to… Damon! Damon!" Stefan let's go as she spots him.

In a second she is in front of him, having moved at vamp speed, the surprise evident in her eyes, as she realizes it, then she throws her arms around his neck.

All the emotions from the day climaxes in this moment, then dulls to allow this immense feeling of gratitude and relief to flood him. He is holding her, she is in his arms, real and as alive as could be possible. He pushes his hands into her damp hair, his ring temporarily sticking in the knots. She can hate him forever, she can reject him another hundred times, as long as she stays tangible. His chest shakes, and he realize that he is sobbing. Damon Salvatore, the master of the mask, the builder of the walls, the king of snark. And he is crying like a little boy.

"I lied." Elena whispers, urgently, afraid that if she doesn't speak now, something will happen, and she will never have another chance. It's an irrational fear, she knows it, but it's real. "I lied on the phone. It's you. Only you."

Damon feels as if someone has knocked the wind out of him. This has to be a dream. Klaus must've really sired them, and they died, and now he is in the most amazing dream ever.

Elena pulls back, then pulls his head down to her with both hands, so she can look into his eyes. She can see his disbelieve, the hope, the fear that she's going to take it back. The fear wins and he puts his mask back on.

"Must've been one hell of a bump on your head when the truck hit the water Elena." He smirks.

"Stop protecting yourself, Damon. Break down that wall. I didn't hit my head. I knew it then, I've known it for a while, but I let fear rule my life. I'm telling you here, now, with Stefan just a few feet away. It's you. "

She can see an array of emotion in Damon's eyes as her words sink in. This is the Damon only she can see, the man behind the… occasional monster episode. The last thought brings her to another realization. Something she has known for a while, yet was too chicken to admit, even in Denver.

"And you can't even get rid of me by screwing up, because I can't just stop loving you. If you were human, I'd be the idiot driving to state prison every Sunday to visit you on death-row for murder." She tries to make light of it, but it's the truth. He is a monster, he is a killer, he is amoral, and a loose cannon, and dangerous and possibly, on occasion, downright evil, and yet, even though she positively abhors his actions, she loves him.

"You love me?" No snark, no comment, not enough thoughts to string together a coherent thought…. All he knows is that she just said the most beautiful sentence. The one sentence he never thought he would hear her say. And she said it in front of Stefan. For a moment, they both forgot he was there….

"Yes." It's a simple answer, no drawn out explanations, no trying to explain her feelings. Nothing. Just yes.

Elena can see the exact moment her words get through to him. His entire face and eyes lights up, he smiles, a real smile, not just his normal smirk and then he is holding her, and twirling her, and then, the best kept for last, he kisses her.

His kiss sends fire through her entire body, consuming every cell with its searing heat, but then another burn starts numbing the passion, a gnawing pain in her gut. She pulls away, gasping, eyes unfocussed….

"Damon…. I'm really glad I got to tell you this, and I love being in your arms, but…" he pulls back…. "I really need some blood right now…" she finishes with a groan.

She sees his eyes brightening even more…

"I thought you didn't want this…"

Elena feels another burning pain in her gut, telling her to feed. Through gritted teeth, she answers.

"I don't… I didn't… But there is no way I'm leaving you all behind, when I have the option to stick around. "

"I'll get it." Stefan pipes up in the background.

Damon feels a momentary pang of guilt, a very foreign feeling to him. He was so wrapped in his own happiness, having finally gotten his dreams realized, that he had somehow forgotten of the excruciating pain his brother must be in. The pain he still felt just moments ago…

Elena reflects that she should feel guilty… but for now, the hunger is too great. Or maybe it's the switch. She'll feel guilty later, she'll apologize later… for now, she just gratefully accepts the blood bag offered.

She can feel her eyes burning as her still-blunt teeth barely pierce the bag, the pain in her gums are intense, her canines have extended somewhat, but not enough to really be helpful in the blood drinking department. The burn extends from her eyes, over her cheeks, and having seen it so many times before, she has a pretty good idea what a sight she must be. She takes her first sip. The blood tastes coppery, like normal blood…. So then why do they crave it so much? She looks up to see Stefan looking at her sadly, he averts his gaze, as if he can't stand to watch her, she looks at Damon. His eyes tell a different story, he is in awe, she has never looked more beautiful to him. How could he ever think of her as a monster, knowing her heart? She takes another sip. This time the coppery taste seems to be less, the consistency more velvety, with another sip it becomes sweeter, and she realizes that with her first sip, she was still closer to being human than vampire…

Soon, she is gulping down the blood, swooning… it is amazing, it's like your first cup of coffee on a freezing winter's morning… no better, like a steaming cup of hot chocolate, next to a camp fire in the dead of winter, no, even better, it's like… nothing she can compare it to from her human experience. It warms her up from the inside, pleasantly buzzes in her head, sends little tingles through her body, arouses her in some weird way, as if she's being seduced. She can easily understand why vampires kill…. That must be the climax of feeding.

She is still sucking at the bag, yet the little droplets left behind are too few to come out.

"May I…." she starts talking as looks up at Damon, then stops short as her mind goes back to the very first time she saw him. She remembers thinking that he was attractive, that she could get lost in his eyes, that she should stay away because he looks way to confident and smooth, and yet devilishly fun… and then he opened his mouth, dropping words like consume and passion, adventure and danger, and she wanted to know more. And even being Evil Damon back then, even though he had still all of his emotions and guilt and morality buried or locked away, or switched off, he treated her with respect, his wish for her was selfless, he wanted her to have everything she had ever wanted.

Elena gasps as she looks up at Damon.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she whispers.

Damon shrugs, then smirks.

"Cause I'm a dick."

"Seriously, why?"

He looks a little more serious.

"I didn't think in the grand scheme of things that it would make a difference. We met, we talk, we…" smirks, "flirted a bit, and then it was over."

"I had a right to know…"

"So it could complicate your life even further? Besides, how would I tell you? Oh, Elena-dear, I know you don't remember, but if it comes to first come, first serve I was actually first in line?"

Elena giggles slightly.

"Okay, I see you poi…Aaaargggghhhh." Before she could finish the thought, she doubles over in pain.

"That's it, I'm getting you out of here." Damon grabs her, and turns, preparing to vamp speed his way through the hospital at a speed he would never be seen. Then his eye catches the hospital employee lying on the floor.

"I'll bring him with and put him in the dungeon to get the vervain out of his system. Then we can compel him." Stefan says.

Back at the boarding house, Stefan is sitting in front of the fireplace, drinking some of Damon's bourbon.

Elena chose. She chose Damon. He finds it hard to believe. Maybe he is too used to being the winner, the one that shines, that gets the love and the attention and the girl… It crossed his mind that she has feelings for Damon, that they had a special bond that Damon has never had with anyone before, but that it went this deep…? Tonight he saw something in Damon's eyes, something that he thought Elena had made up in her mind. Or a trick Damon was playing on her. Humanity. When Damon looked at him, realizing that he was an unwilling audience, he saw first shock, then guilt, then empathy, before Damon closed the curtain again.

He feels hurt, but the pain is not as unbearable as he thought it would be. He knows that he would eventually have a full life again, love again. Be able to be a friend to Elena, with no anger or hurt.

Getting another drink, from Damon's precious stash, he realizes something very important, listening to Damon's voice soothing Elena through the pain of transition, and her shrieks, as she wonders when it will end. Damon can't live without her, whereas he can. Tonight he realizes that things worked out the way it was supposed to, even if he will have to leave for a little while, until he can face them again, with only love for both…


End file.
